


In My Blood

by masulevin



Series: Self-Indulgence AU [6]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Kiss, The Fade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-07 03:57:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8782003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masulevin/pseuds/masulevin
Summary: Nora Lavellan has had her eye on Solas since she arrived in Haven. She wants him, desperately, and is pleased to discover that he's been dreaming of her too.Meant to be read in conjunction with "The Fire and the Flood," but it isn't necessary to enjoy this story. Lavellan/Blackwall in chapter 3.





	1. First Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place after chapter nine of [The Fire and the Flood](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8743147/chapters/20043823).
> 
> This chapter somewhat inspired by [this tumblr post](http://ma-sulevin.tumblr.com/post/153834514556/kreebby-alatuspictomancer-kreebby-just-a) on the Fade kiss scene.

“Sweet talker.”

Nora isn’t sure what makes her move, but before she has a chance to think about it, her hand is on Solas’ jaw, guiding his face toward hers. He reacts immediately, instinctively, tilting his head to the side and moving into her space. 

Their lips brush together, just a tease really. Nora’s cheeks heat up at the contact, and when Solas straightens, she turns to leave. She shouldn’t have done that. She’s ruined everything, and...

She doesn’t see the way Solas’ eyes soften and his head shakes as she tries to leave, but she does feel the way his hands grasp her waist, pulling her flush against him. He leans over her, bending her back, making heat pool in her core.

She whimpers, fingers digging into the loose wool of his jacket, clutching him so tightly she’s afraid she’ll never be able to let go again.

His tongue slides against her lips, tasting her, and she opens her mouth to him with a sigh. He moves impossibly closer, one leg pressing between hers, his tongue dipping into her mouth, his hands sliding from her waist to her ass to haul her body against his.

She moans into his mouth as his thigh rubs against her core, fingers tightening in his coat, desperately wanting more and feeling overwhelmed all at once.

One of her hands finds its way up his chest, brushing over lean muscles hidden under ill-fitting clothing, to his face. She traces her thumb over his cheek as she cups his head, holding him against her so that she can nip at his upper lip, tugging on it even as he pulls away.

Their eyes meet, and for the briefest of moments, she thinks she can see the same lust in his eyes that’s been burning in her since they first spoke in Haven.

What was it he said to her then?

_Your indomitable focus is an enjoyable side benefit... I have yet to see it dominated. I imagine that the sight would be... fascinating._

Just the memory makes her whine again, and his head shakes slightly before he ducks his head to capture her lips for one more kiss. She tightens her hold on him, but he’s stronger than he appears, and he pushes her away to put space between them.

Her hands resist, clutching his jacket until he steps back, away from her touch. His mouth droops at the corners, his cheeks redden, and he takes another step away from her when she tries to close the distance again.

“We shouldn’t,” he breathes, voice rough with the self-control it’s taking him to keep from lifting her, spinning until he can press her against the stone wall behind them, and making her his. “It isn’t right. Not even here.”

She opens her mouth to snap at him, to tell him that they definitely _should_ and it _is right,_  but his last words stop her cold.

“What do you mean?”

His lips twist into a smile at her confused expression. The Herald, their mage, _his Nora._ Beautiful, strong, always in control, looking to him for help. It’s almost enough to make him give in to the temptation to take her right now, mark her as his.

“Where did you think we were?”


	2. First I Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place about the same time as [chapter 16 of The Fire and the Flood](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8743147/chapters/20312194).

“It means I have not forgotten the kiss.”

Nora’s eyes light up at Solas’ words, and she immediately moves closer, stepping into his space. She’s been waiting to hear this from him for weeks, fighting through red templars and demons by his side without knowing how he feels.

And now she does.

“Good.” She puts her hands behind her back, stretching up towards him, tempting him. His eyes drop to her lips, watching her tongue slip between them before he shakes his head.

This is a bad idea.

He turns to leave, to escape before he hurts her, but she puts her hand on his arm. He can feel the warmth of her touch through his woolen shirt, and it makes him pause.

She isn’t holding him back with any physical strength. Instead, it’s an energy, an emotion, that arcs between them, tethering him in place.

He cannot leave.

He turns back to her, desperate, and gives in to the temptation that she’s unwittingly placed before him. He wraps his arms around her as he slots his mouth over hers. She melts against him, gripping the sides of his shirt, letting him do with her as he wills.

He leans over her, forcing her back. She keens against his lips, opening her mouth to his exploring tongue.

She tastes just as he remembers: sweet, heady, like nothing he’s ever tasted before. He can’t get enough, and his fingers dig into the skin of her waist as he slides his hands under her tunic.

She arches her back, pressing her breasts against him, a little whimper escaping her as he bites her lower lip. He pulls on it, scraping his teeth across the delicate flesh, teasing her with a glimpse of what’s to come.

No. Of what can’t come.

He breaks away, leaving her breathless and limp against him. He shakes his head, not at her, but at himself. He shouldn’t have started this. He knows better. He shouldn’t encourage her.

Words bubble up in his throat before he can stop them. He’s thought them before, thought them when he sees her sitting by the campfire at night, the golden light illuminating her beautiful skin. He’s thought them when she heals him after a fight, when she looks at him with golden eyes full of admiration.

“Ar lath ma, vhenan,” he murmurs, voice low. He can feel her shiver under his touch at his words.

Her eyes are glowing in the afternoon sun, but they even look brighter as he speaks. She opens her mouth as though to respond, to repeat his words back to him, but he can’t bear to hear them.

He ducks his head and swallows her words, transforming them into a moan as he slips his hands farther down, cupping her firm ass in both hands. She presses against him at his encouragement, lifting one leg to wrap around his hips, encouraging him to take his pleasure in her.

He does, lifting her bodily and moving her against the cold stone railing of her balcony. She gasps, pulling away from him in surprise, and he leans closer to bite her neck. His teeth sink into her soft flesh, marking her, claiming her as his, 

She leans her head back, giving him more room, encouraging him to continue with fingertips sinking into his back. He reaches between them, sliding one hand up the inside of her thigh until he reaches the waist of her leggings.

They’re tied closed with a simple knot he unravels easily, allowing him to pull them off without resistance. She toes off her shoes, letting them drop, helping him strip her down.

“Fenor,” he murmurs, pressing back between her legs, moving his hand up to the fastens of her shirt. He leans in, pulling the sensitive tip of her ear into his mouth, sliding his tongue along it even as his nimble fingers make short work of her tunic.

He’s losing his self-control, forgetting why he wanted to put distance between them. She tastes so sweet, feels so pliant under him, desperate for any affection he’s willing to show her.

He wants to give her the world.

He ignores his own arousal, taking advantage of the beautiful woman clinging to him. The mountain air is cold, stiffening her dark nipples into tight peaks before he even touches them. He holds her waist tightly, dipping his head down, suddenly desperate to taste them.

He lavishes them with attention, pulling first one and then the other into his mouth, circling them with his tongue, growling when he hears her moans, feels her fingers clutching his tunic.

She tugs on it, pulling until he stands upright with a grin. He removes his belts, letting them fall to the floor, before tugging his tunic off and dropping it without a care.

Nora hums in appreciation, dragging one hand down his lithe muscles. He allows her attentions for a moment before he pushes her hand away, moving to completely remove her tunic.

She stands bare before him, her hands resting on the railing behind her, waiting for him to make the next move. He steps into her, lifting her until she can sit on the railing. She gasps, wrapping arms and legs around him to hold herself on the balcony.

“Solas?” she breathes, his name transforming into a high-pitched moan as his fingers slide between her legs, dipping into her folds. He finds her soaked, dripping with arousal, and he growls his approval.

With his free arm wrapped around her, supporting her on the railing, his fingers dip inside of her, pressing through the thatch of dark curls that mark the apex of her thighs, moving impossibly slowly inside of her.

She arches against him, widening her legs, encouraging him to move faster. 

He doesn’t obey, wanting to tease her, to tempt her the way she’s been tempting him all these weeks since they met at Haven. She’s oversensitive already, on edge just from his kisses, and she hangs onto him as he slowly winds her tighter.

“Nora, ma’lath,” he murmurs, lips tickling against her ear. The sound of his rich voice pushes her too far, and she flies apart under him. She barely suppresses her cry, aware that it would echo across the courtyard, gritting her teeth and hissing her pleasure instead.

Solas smirks, pulling his hand free and placing it on her waist as she calms. She cups his face with her hands and pulls his mouth to hers. She presses her tongue against his, trying to claim him as he’s claimed hers. She doesn’t know that he’s been hers since the first time she smiled at him.

“Solas, please,” she finally murmurs. “Let me take care of you.” One of her hands dips, tracing around his muscles on its way to his own trouser ties.

He takes her hand in his, twining their fingers together. He pulls her hand to his mouth and kisses her knuckles before relenting.

He reaches between them and removes his leggings himself, letting them hang around his thighs. Her eyes widen as he takes his cock in his hand, stroking idly over the length for a moment before he holds it steady, pressing it against her entrance.

She squeezes her eyes shut, leaning her head back, unable to contain her moan as he presses slowly into her. When he’s fully seated inside of her wet heat, he grasps her hips with strong hands, holding still. His tongue and teeth go to work, dancing across her neck, making her squirm and roll her hips against him.

He complies, just this once, pulling nearly all the way out before slamming back into her. Her breaths come in short gasps as he does it again, and again, determined to push her over the edge one more time before he follows.

Her fingers dig into his back, nails scratching at his skin, leaving red lines that either one of them could easily heal. Despite her precarious position, Nora lets herself go under his touch, voice rising as he drives into her.

He murmurs praises against her skin, words she doesn’t understand, as she trembles under his touch. He can feel it as she begins to climax a second time, her magic making her fingers feel like ice against his back. His own pleasure has built up within him, only the strength of his will holding it back as he waits for her.

“Nora,” he breathes, and that word, coupled with a well-aimed thrust, makes her come with a loud cry. It does echo, the sound bouncing back to them from the mountains. He thrusts again, and again, before pulling away from her. He pumps his length and bites her shoulder as he spills himself onto the balcony floor, the fingers of his free hand bruising her hip.

He comes back to himself as her hand strokes over his scalp, and he stands up straight, pulling her off of the railing to stand on her feet.

She wraps her arms around his neck, pressing her naked body against his for a kiss. He wraps his arms around her, pulling her flush against him, and, impossibly, she moans again.

“Solas,” she whispers, voice a sing-song that makes him shiver. “There’s a fire and a bed just inside. Come with me?”

He can’t help his smile. “As you wish, vhenan.”


	3. First Heartbreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains explicit sexual content and Nora Lavellan's questionable decisions.

This isn't how he thought the conversation would go. He brought her to this clearing because he wanted to tell her the truth. Not about the vallaslin, not just that, but the truth about everything.

It's what she deserves.

But the way she looks up at him after they kiss, the warmth and trust in her eyes, he can't shatter the illusion she has of him. He should never have allowed this to go so far. There were so many opportunities for him to end things before they fell in love, and now...

Now he can do nothing but hurt her.

"I distracted you from your duty. It will never happen again."

He watches as confusion turns to disbelief on her face, then finally to outrage. Anger simmers just beneath her skin, boiling for several moments before she finally speaks.

"Wait, _what_?" She shakes her head as though trying to dislodge something. "I say no to you _altering_ my _face_ and just like that we're _done_."

"It's not that." Solas' hands tighten on her arms, fingers digging painfully into her skin. This was a mistake. This was all a mistake. "I'm sorry. I should have ended this long before. I never wanted to hurt you."

She's still so close to him. He could close the distance between them for another kiss easily, but it would be wrong, it would just make things worse. Instead, he watches as her eyes well with tears she refuses to let fall.

Her indomitable spirit once again.

It almost makes him smile. Almost.

"Well." She inhales sharply and grinds her teeth together. "We don't always get what we want, do we?"

His fingers release her and he nods before he realizes what he's doing. "I will see you back at Skyhold."

He turns around and leaves her alone in the clearing, biting her tongue to keep from calling after him.

As soon as he’s gone, far enough away that maybe he won’t see, she leans her head back and screams. Her frustration, her anger, her grief all explode from her in one inhuman sound that echoes off of the rock walls of the cavern.

She falls to her knees and slams her palms into the damp ground. Her tears fall freely, dripping off of her chin. She can feel the pull of the Fade around her and she gives in, grief becoming physical. Frost spreads out from her splayed fingers, rippling along the pond until the entire cave is covered in a thick layer of ice. Even the ground freezes, frost covering the now-dead plants, creeping up the side of the cavern until each breath is visible.

She groans through her clenched teeth as the last of her strength seeps from her hands, and her shoulders sag.

She stands, slowly, stretching suddenly sore muscles. She takes a slow, trembling breath and wipes the remnants of her tears off of her face. She squares her shoulders and turns, following the path that Solas took when he left her.

She bites her tongue, hard. She won’t think of him.

She walks alone back to their camp. Blackwall’s on duty, sitting by the fire. He looks up when he hears her footsteps and his face breaks into a wide smile when he recognizes her.

Hesitating at the edge of the camp, she studies him for a moment. He always stops whatever he’s doing when she approaches, always has a kind word for her. He worships her, and it’s obvious to everyone. 

What was it that he said? _You’ve the world at your feet, myself included._

She laughed when he said that, told him to stay there. He rewarded her with a little grin and called her lovely.

If she hadn’t been so enamored with Solas...

She bites her tongue again, the burst of pain reminding her _not to think of Solas._

When she looks back at Blackwall, his smile has faded, and he’s crossing the campsite to her. He reaches out one hand like he’s going to touch her, but he drops it before he does.

“Where’s Solas?” he demands, sharp eyes searching the darkness behind her. “My lady?”

Her lips twist into a snarl. “He’s gone.”

Blackwall’s eyes snap back to hers. “Gone?”

She steps closer, into his space, and watches the way his breath catches in his throat. “He left. Back to Skyhold, I expect.”

“He left you alone?” Blackwall’s whole body tenses at the idea, hands fisting at his sides.

Nora considers this, remembering the way he would gaze after her when she went somewhere alone with Solas. He wanted her. Perhaps he still does.

She reaches up, slowly but without hesitation, and places one hand flat on his chest. He stills but remains tense, turning his attention back to her. She runs her hand across his breastplate, inching up towards his face until he steps away.

“My lady, what--”

Again, she closes the distance between them. “Where’s Cole?”

“Asleep.” 

Blackwall’s eyes are wide as Nora nods up at him. Her hand meets his chest again and slides up to the back of his neck, pulling his face down to hers.

His lips are chapped and rough against hers, and she sighs against them. He’s so much broader, rougher than Solas is, and it’s everything she needs. Her other hand bunches in his hair as she presses her whole body against him.

His hands find their way to the small of her back, just lightly holding her. His touch is too polite, too gentle, and she tightens her hold on his hair.

She breaks their kiss and pushes on his shoulder. Though he’s a foot taller than she and undoubtedly stronger, he kneels immediately, dropping to his knees without objection. His gray eyes meet her, his question clear, but she doesn’t want to answer.

Her fingers tangle in his hair again and hold him still as she bends over him, slamming their mouths together again. His lips open under her onslaught and she delves her tongue into his mouth. His fingers grasp her hips, holding tightly, almost enough to bruise.

It isn’t enough.

Solas always takes what he wants. Even that first time on her balcony, when he held her on the edge of the railing, he was in control.

Blackwall has always been deferential to her. _You have the world at your feet,_ he’d said. She doesn’t want him at her feet. She wants to be at his, to have all memory of Solas erased from her body.

She bites his lower lip and growls as she tugs on the sensitive skin. His eyes fly open as he looks up at her, his cheeks reddening under his beard. She strokes one hand through the rough hair covering his face, considering how it might feel between her thighs. Elven men have so much less hair.

“You want this.”

He hesitates, then nods.

“You want me.”

His voice trembles, but he answers immediately. “Yes, my lady.”

Nora releases him and takes a step back. She holds his gaze as her nimble fingers loosen the fastens of her armor, the set Solas found for her in the Exalted Planes, baring herself to the warrior still waiting on his knees.

“Then take me.”

He lurches to his feet and sweeps her up into his arms. A few more steps and he pushes through the opening to her tent, the tent she always shared with Solas, and gently lays her on the bedroll.

He hovers above her, leaning his weight on his elbows, gazing down at her form. “Are you sure about this, my lady?”

She scowls up at him. “Don’t _talk_. Just--” His kiss cuts off her words, desperate, and he lets his body crash down onto hers. She wraps her legs around his waist, pressing her hips against his, and he ruts against her.

When he pulls away to remove his armor, his movements hasty, she turns over to rest on her elbows and knees. Blackwall makes a strangled noise behind her, freezing to take in the sight of her pert ass in the air, before working faster to free himself from his clothing.

Nora closes her eyes and presses back towards him as a tentative finger brushes across her entrance. Blackwall groans again as he finds her slick and ready for him. 

His calloused finger disappears but is quickly replaced by the blunt head of his cock. Nora hisses in anticipation and presses back again, helping him slide deep inside of her.

His groan is guttural, sending a shiver through her. His hands tighten on her hips and hold her still as he pulls almost all the way out of her.

“So tight,” he grunts, thrusting hard into her. She presses her face into her bedroll to muffle her cry. “You feel so fucking good.”

His thrusts increase in speed and intensity, each one startling a keen from her throat. Tears pool in her eyes and spill unnoticed to the blanket. She arches her back and helps guide Blackwall into a better position as he moves within her, and suddenly she’s shattering under his attentions. She comes with a hoarse cry that she can’t control, barely noticing when Blackwall grunts his own release and lets his seed fill her.

He releases her and she collapses onto the bedroll. He falls next to her, immediately wrapping his arms around her to haul her body closer to him. She lets him arrange her body around his, draping her arm over his furred chest, nuzzling her face into his side.

Her body aches pleasantly, tremors still flowing through her, luring her into sleep.

“Are you okay?” His voice is hoarse, hesitant, as though afraid speaking will break whatever spell brought her to him after so long.

“Perfect,” she lies and lets herself fall asleep.


	4. First Day of Forever

Each spell cast at Corypheus seems to weaken Nora more than it weakens him. Solas tosses her a lyrium potion, the last of the party’s, and she downs it without hesitation.

Just a year ago--has it only been a year?--she would have vomited at the taste. Now she craves it like water during a fight, longs for the way strength flows back through her as it hits her system. 

Her body knows the metallic liquid is all that’s keeping her alive, and it longs for the boost.

Another spell and Corypheus stumbles. His orb--no, the _elvhen orb_ that he stole--is spitting out red lyrium next to him, and Corypheus grabs it. He raises it in the air and calls for his gods, the old gods of Tevinter.

Like the elven gods, they do not answer.

Whatever he does to the orb activates Nora’s anchor, and the searing pain just reminds her of her duty. She reaches out with a snarl and the orb sails away from Corypheus, past Solas’ shocked face, and lands squarely in the center of her palm.

This is what she’s been waiting for. She raises the orb above her head as Corypheus falls to his knees and directs the power of the anchor through it. The Breach seals, and Corypheus screams his fury.

Solas rushes to her side, reaching for her, but she pushes him away to stalk towards Corypheus.

“You wanted into the Fade?” she demands, voice loud enough to make him flinch away. The orb burns her hand and she drops it to the ground before she reaches out towards him, palm still spitting green light, and opens a rift right where Corypheus’ heart should be.

It tears him apart, destroying him from the inside out. He screams even as he falls into the Void, his body stretching and disintegrating until he is no more.

Nora falls to her knees before where he had been, exhaustion weighing her down, and rests her still burning hand on the trembling stones.

Solas is by her side again in an instant, his hand on her back and a spell soothing the anchor, and this time she doesn’t push him away. Cassandra and Bull are nowhere to be seen, are they still alive? Morrigan fell too.

Corypheus’ spell finally wears off and the temple’s ruins begin to fall. Solas wraps his arms around Nora, holding her tight as she clutches at the stones. 

This is it. Saving Thedas cost her her life, just as she knew it would. These are her last moments, here on top of the temple as it falls.

“Solas,” she gasps out, the last word she ever wants to say.

His arms tighten around her, then a bone-rattling crash as the temple crashes back to the ground. They collapse together, Solas cushioning Nora’s body with his own.

She pulls herself away from him and stands, turning away from him so he won’t be able to see the look on her face, the tears staining her cheeks. The orb is shattered beside them, and she stops to pick it up instead.

“I’m... so sorry, Solas.” She turns, finally, and holds out the broken pieces. He takes one and shakes his head at it, disappointed but not surprised.

“It is not your fault.” The words sound empty, hollow, and when she finally meets his eyes her heart stops.

“Solas?”

He opens his mouth as though to speak, but Cassandra’s voice calls out from somewhere else in the rubble. “Inquisitor! Are you alive?”

Nora turns to glance over her shoulder but returns her gaze back to Sols when he closes the distance between them to cup her cheek.

“It wasn’t supposed to happen this way,” he breathes, and she knows he doesn’t just mean the final battle. Something else, something bigger, is bothering him. She watches his eyes as they study her face, taking in all the details that he’s forgotten in the weeks since he left her behind.

“None of this... _you_ weren’t supposed to happen.” His other hand rests on her hip, pulling her closer. She flows into him, stopping only when her hands rest on his chest. “Vhenan,” he breathes, leaning down until his forehead rests against hers. “Ar lath ma. Ir abelas.”

Nora digs her fingers into the fabric covering his armor, ignoring Cassandra’s second call as it moves farther away. 

“Ma’sal’shiral,” she whispers, pressing up on her toes to bring their faces together as tears fall fresh down her cheeks. “Sathas. Please come back to me.”

Solas’ hands tighten, digging into her hair and into the armor covering her hip. “I cannot.”

“You _can._  You just won’t.” Nora’s too tired to hide the way her voice shakes or the tears now falling in earnest down her face.

Everyone lies. Everyone leaves.

Solas takes a deep breath but again is interrupted by Cassandra. She’s nearer now, almost upon them. Nora’s whole body tenses as she tries to hold him closer. “Solas, _please_.”

“Come with me, vhenan.” The words are out before he has time to think. “I am...” he hesitates, then starts again. “I have much to tell you. Anything you want to know is yours if you come with me.”

“Where are you going?” It isn’t a yes, but it isn’t quite a no either. He’s lied before. He may be lying now.

“To help,” he says simply. “To restore what was, what I’ve seen.”

“What you’ve seen in the Fade?” Nora straightens, meeting Solas’ grey eyes with an accusation he can’t deny.

He shakes his head. “Not in the Fade. Not for the first time. Come with me. Help me bring our people _back._ ”

Nora hesitates again, looking over her shoulder. She can hear the cries of the rest of her companions searching for them, growing ever closer with each moment they’re alone.

She looks back at Solas, at the way his eyes light up when they meet hers. She feels the way his heart beats under her hands, the way his fingers are clutching at her armor.

“Inquisitor! Solas!” Cassandra’s voice is just around a corner, and Solas stiffens as she draws closer. He needs his answer.

Nora licks her lips and takes a deep breath. “Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you liked this, come over to [tumblr](http://ma-sulevin.tumblr.com) and we can talk about it :)


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